Well, today I finally uploaded my pics from the Biggest Loser casting call. The whole process leading to that day in Dallas was a growth experience and made me seriously examine where my value lies...which leads me to the knowledge that I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
I love the idea that imperfections, mistakes, warts and all, God loves me and has chosen me to be His child.
So, as today was not the most positive day in my weightloss journey, it is the Grace of God that allows me to look back on this day with the knowledge that I even if I have not been as successful as I had longed to be, God loves me anyway and will strengthen me to do better tomorrow.
So, where does that leave me at this moment? Blessed! Truly Blessed. And my prayer this day is that you know that God designed you perfectly, that you are fearfully and wonderfully made and His child. You too are blessed!
With a resolve to do the next right thing tomorrow, I bid you all a goodnight.
Blessings,
D.
Thursday, September 1, 2011
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Taco Happiness...
Ok, For the record, I am sore from last nights workout with the Swiss Ball. It may seem easy but it definately worked me out.
So, today I made the awesomest dinner...Tacos on the Lighter side...
1lb lean ground turkey - browned
1 can El Pato tomato sauce (I use the green can)
Add the can of sauce to the meat, season to taste with chili powder, garlic powder, pepper, and cumin.
Crumble some Queso Fresco...yummy cheese by the way
thinly slice cabbage (or if you're in a hurry buy the bag already shredded)
If you are a fan of Pico de Gallo, now is a good time to pull it out.
Warm a corn tortilla in a pan so it is warm, soft and pliable
Add a spoonful of the meat, top with cheese, cabbage and a little pico and for the tip of the taco iceberg, squeeze a little fresh lime juice on top.
Yummy!
My prayer is this...Lord, open my eyes to your wonders. Help me to see the glory of you in the creation of me and to long to be the best represenation of that creation I can.
Blessings,
D.
So, today I made the awesomest dinner...Tacos on the Lighter side...
1lb lean ground turkey - browned
1 can El Pato tomato sauce (I use the green can)
Add the can of sauce to the meat, season to taste with chili powder, garlic powder, pepper, and cumin.
Crumble some Queso Fresco...yummy cheese by the way
thinly slice cabbage (or if you're in a hurry buy the bag already shredded)
If you are a fan of Pico de Gallo, now is a good time to pull it out.
Warm a corn tortilla in a pan so it is warm, soft and pliable
Add a spoonful of the meat, top with cheese, cabbage and a little pico and for the tip of the taco iceberg, squeeze a little fresh lime juice on top.
Yummy!
My prayer is this...Lord, open my eyes to your wonders. Help me to see the glory of you in the creation of me and to long to be the best represenation of that creation I can.
Blessings,
D.
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
I'll become even more undignified than this...
So, not my best day but some great things came out of it. I found out today that my very favorite uncle passed away. He was the closest link to my dad and now he's dancing and laughing with my dad in the grandness that happens when we leave these earthly bodies, but man that sucks for those of us who loved him so...
I was kinda off all day. I never really got into a groove and felt all day like I was running to catch up. I didn't get to the gym this morning and I started to beat myself up about it but then thought I can't let small things cause me to fall apart. I did manage to get in a good core routine with the Swiss Ball and a couple of hand weights this evening and I plan to get back to the gym tomorrow. I've got to figure out a schedule and routine that will work.
I'll be totally honest though, my first thought was to just curl up in my favorite "mom" chair, open a box of milk duds and veg in front of my soaps that will be off the air too soon. But I chose instead to do the next right thing. I kept my eating in check and moved at least some today.
I had a wonderful meeting with a beautiful woman whose courage and heart simply amaze me and with whom I hope to develop a lasting friendship and partnership in ministry. And that is where the title for today stems from...the idea that I will become even more undignified than this...It's a great song but also a great life lesson. I will do what is asked, I will respond to the call regardless of looks, and frankly anyone who has seen me on the elliptical can attest that I am anything but dignified.
I am an avid reader. I will read just about anything from cheesy romance to serious theological discussion, to totally entertaining biographies...you name it, I will likely read it given the opportunity. Currently I am in the midst of reading 3 books...well more like 6 but 3 that I am seriously reading.
The first I began because I saw someone tweet about it, and it sounded interesting so I downloaded it to my old school ipod which shows about 3 lines per page. It is called One Thousand Gifts. A good read but not what I am going to talk about today. The second I began because my daughter was reading it and kept mentioning it and I wanted to know what she was talking about and it is called Crazy Love by Fancis Chan. An awesome read and one that really has one examine the relationship she has with Christ. But the one I want to address today is called Made to Crave by Lysa TerKeurst. I actually fell into this book through a free book download of a devotional called Craving God. This book is a wonderful read for those of us who are struggling with an obsession with food, dieting, etc. God made us to crave but he made us to crave him...what are you craving? Where is your focus, your energy, your time, thoughts, desires... Good question huh? I know it was for me and I had to stop and really begin to examine the answers. I knew they were not the answers God asked from me but I also knew they were answers he knew already.
Time for a Paradigm shift: No more craving the things of this world...food, security, thin bodies, comfort from things...
I am tired...tired of dieting, tired of starting only to fail days or weeks later, tired of always craving and never being satisfied.
Time to become completely undignified in worship and praise for the one who loves me just as I am and wants me to love him with abandon.
So, on this day my challange to you is one that was shared in Made to Crave:
Use your cravings for food as promptings to prayer. You'll pray more, eat less which is a win win situation.
Blessings,
D.
I was kinda off all day. I never really got into a groove and felt all day like I was running to catch up. I didn't get to the gym this morning and I started to beat myself up about it but then thought I can't let small things cause me to fall apart. I did manage to get in a good core routine with the Swiss Ball and a couple of hand weights this evening and I plan to get back to the gym tomorrow. I've got to figure out a schedule and routine that will work.
I'll be totally honest though, my first thought was to just curl up in my favorite "mom" chair, open a box of milk duds and veg in front of my soaps that will be off the air too soon. But I chose instead to do the next right thing. I kept my eating in check and moved at least some today.
I had a wonderful meeting with a beautiful woman whose courage and heart simply amaze me and with whom I hope to develop a lasting friendship and partnership in ministry. And that is where the title for today stems from...the idea that I will become even more undignified than this...It's a great song but also a great life lesson. I will do what is asked, I will respond to the call regardless of looks, and frankly anyone who has seen me on the elliptical can attest that I am anything but dignified.
I am an avid reader. I will read just about anything from cheesy romance to serious theological discussion, to totally entertaining biographies...you name it, I will likely read it given the opportunity. Currently I am in the midst of reading 3 books...well more like 6 but 3 that I am seriously reading.
The first I began because I saw someone tweet about it, and it sounded interesting so I downloaded it to my old school ipod which shows about 3 lines per page. It is called One Thousand Gifts. A good read but not what I am going to talk about today. The second I began because my daughter was reading it and kept mentioning it and I wanted to know what she was talking about and it is called Crazy Love by Fancis Chan. An awesome read and one that really has one examine the relationship she has with Christ. But the one I want to address today is called Made to Crave by Lysa TerKeurst. I actually fell into this book through a free book download of a devotional called Craving God. This book is a wonderful read for those of us who are struggling with an obsession with food, dieting, etc. God made us to crave but he made us to crave him...what are you craving? Where is your focus, your energy, your time, thoughts, desires... Good question huh? I know it was for me and I had to stop and really begin to examine the answers. I knew they were not the answers God asked from me but I also knew they were answers he knew already.
Time for a Paradigm shift: No more craving the things of this world...food, security, thin bodies, comfort from things...
I am tired...tired of dieting, tired of starting only to fail days or weeks later, tired of always craving and never being satisfied.
Time to become completely undignified in worship and praise for the one who loves me just as I am and wants me to love him with abandon.
So, on this day my challange to you is one that was shared in Made to Crave:
Use your cravings for food as promptings to prayer. You'll pray more, eat less which is a win win situation.
Blessings,
D.
Monday, August 29, 2011
Good but not perfect?
So, I have managed to get through Day 1. But, that being said, I usually get through Day 1...it's usually the Day's after about 10 that I start to struggle.
I did manage an hour on the elliptical...yea! I also did 1/2 mile swim and 1/2 hour of water aerobics. I had planned to do a night workout but allowed my daughter to distract me. I may still get a Swiss Ball workout in when I finish this blog.
On the food front, I was ambushed by a bowl of Cheeseburger Mac...but, I kept to my plan for the rest of the day so I refuse to let that one slip totally derail me.
So, it was a good day overall. Still got some work to do but moving forward.
On this day I would like to share this thought with you from Jillian Michaels...good time I think:
Move...just move! The Father will direct you...
Blessings,
D.
I did manage an hour on the elliptical...yea! I also did 1/2 mile swim and 1/2 hour of water aerobics. I had planned to do a night workout but allowed my daughter to distract me. I may still get a Swiss Ball workout in when I finish this blog.
On the food front, I was ambushed by a bowl of Cheeseburger Mac...but, I kept to my plan for the rest of the day so I refuse to let that one slip totally derail me.
So, it was a good day overall. Still got some work to do but moving forward.
On this day I would like to share this thought with you from Jillian Michaels...good time I think:
Life is in the Journey
Life is in the journey, not the destination, so do what you can and take it one day at a time. Go slow, do it right, and make your changes permanent — then help out others who are where you were
So, have you started on a journey? Are you moving forward or are you simply standing still unsure which direction to move? Move...just move! The Father will direct you...
Blessings,
D.
Sunday, August 28, 2011
On the Eve of a New Journey
So, tonight marks the eve of my newest journey, the journey to lose 150lbs and to find a new life through Christ. Let me share with you just a bit of my journey to this point:
I was not a fat kid. I was an "average kid". I was average in pretty much every way possible. I was average in size, in looks, in grades, in athletic ability (ok, maybe below average here)...you get the point. The only time I felt in anyway above average is when performing in plays. But usually that is because I got to play someone who was more than average so...
I spent years trying to fit in...(not realizing that in jr high and high school everyone is trying to do the same thing in their own way). So, when I joined the Navy and moved away, I found myself in great shape physically...thin, healthy, in shape...but emotionally I was a wreck. Totally in need of someone to tell me I was above average...so I put myself in a position that led to my being the victim of a date rape that resulted in losing my virginity...and so much more. The event was so traumatic that it took 16 years for the subconscious me to let the conscious me know all that happened...Meanwhile, I had spent 16 years fighting this fear and anxiety that i didn't know what was driving it. I fought with food...the weapon of choice in my family. And I fought a good fight. I created a HUGE barrier for myself...
During my fight, I got married, I had 2 beautiful daughters, and I was able much of the time to live a lie, seemingly together yet falling apart on the inside. I covered my weakness, my self doubt, my shame with food.
I lost my father, (I was the consumate "Daddy's Girl") in 1998. At this time, I could not see my father in me. I look like my mother and I have been told I am like my mother. I saw parts of my father in each of my sisters but, for me, he was completely gone from my world.
It was only a few years later that my mother also passed and as stupid as it sounds, I felt like an orphan.
In 2006, I began a journey toward healing that began in an effort to minister to the hurts of others. I got involved in a ministry called Epiphany which ministered to incarcerated teenagers. I met the most amazing young men and wanted desprately to tell them how they were loved simply because they were God's perfect creation, that nothing in their past defined who they were. But, I realized I could not tell them this with complete conviction if I did not believe it about myself so I had to face the truth according to God's word not Donna's. I had to accept that I am "fearfully and wonderfully made" (Psalm 139:14) and that there is no flaw in me. (Song of Solomon 4:7)
So, I have since healed the emotional wreckage of my life and I am healthy emotionally and even spiritually...but the toll on my physical health has been pretty bad...I weigh around 270lbs on my 5'3" frame. I have diabetes and high blood pressure. Its bad. The outlook is bad unless something drastic changes the route.
Natalie Grants sings a beautiful song called So Long...
Mystified by the struggle to survive my own pride
Haunted by the deamons of my past life
Who am I and why do I are questions that keep running through my mind
But underneath this shallow skin is a bfrand new me comin' out comin' out from within.
So long, farewell to my old self
Goodbye to the lie that I can't be someone else
Cause who I was ain't who I am
I know that I've been born again.
Those stains of my history are gone, gone, gone...So Long.
Apathy, haunting me like some contagious disease.
Hypocrisy, hiding in the shadow of the former me.
Doin' what comes naturally I'm not who I want to be
I'm ready to be Free!!!
I know that she was talking about her spiritual journey but for me it is all three...spiritual, emotional, physical.
I am finding myself free in some ways but need to be free from this shell I have created...this body that served to isolate me from the fears and anxieties that drove my life for so long...but now it is just a prison.
So, I started this latest phase in my journey by deciding to apply for the Biggest Loser season 13. I did not receive a call back but honestly never had thought of that possibility. What did happen though was I met some INCREDIBLE people who changed the direction of my life path. I am on my way.
I invite you to join me. I will blog daily about my adventures, I will share ideas, scriptures, motivational hints, recipes...I will share my successes and my challenges...I invite you to begin a new phase to your life journey if you feel the need to.
I know that I can do ALL things through Christ who give me strength (Philippians 4:13). He is the center of my life and the center of my journey. I am seeking to lose weight in order to gain a new life through Him.
Blessings to you all!
I spent years trying to fit in...(not realizing that in jr high and high school everyone is trying to do the same thing in their own way). So, when I joined the Navy and moved away, I found myself in great shape physically...thin, healthy, in shape...but emotionally I was a wreck. Totally in need of someone to tell me I was above average...so I put myself in a position that led to my being the victim of a date rape that resulted in losing my virginity...and so much more. The event was so traumatic that it took 16 years for the subconscious me to let the conscious me know all that happened...Meanwhile, I had spent 16 years fighting this fear and anxiety that i didn't know what was driving it. I fought with food...the weapon of choice in my family. And I fought a good fight. I created a HUGE barrier for myself...
During my fight, I got married, I had 2 beautiful daughters, and I was able much of the time to live a lie, seemingly together yet falling apart on the inside. I covered my weakness, my self doubt, my shame with food.
I lost my father, (I was the consumate "Daddy's Girl") in 1998. At this time, I could not see my father in me. I look like my mother and I have been told I am like my mother. I saw parts of my father in each of my sisters but, for me, he was completely gone from my world.
It was only a few years later that my mother also passed and as stupid as it sounds, I felt like an orphan.
In 2006, I began a journey toward healing that began in an effort to minister to the hurts of others. I got involved in a ministry called Epiphany which ministered to incarcerated teenagers. I met the most amazing young men and wanted desprately to tell them how they were loved simply because they were God's perfect creation, that nothing in their past defined who they were. But, I realized I could not tell them this with complete conviction if I did not believe it about myself so I had to face the truth according to God's word not Donna's. I had to accept that I am "fearfully and wonderfully made" (Psalm 139:14) and that there is no flaw in me. (Song of Solomon 4:7)
So, I have since healed the emotional wreckage of my life and I am healthy emotionally and even spiritually...but the toll on my physical health has been pretty bad...I weigh around 270lbs on my 5'3" frame. I have diabetes and high blood pressure. Its bad. The outlook is bad unless something drastic changes the route.
Natalie Grants sings a beautiful song called So Long...
Mystified by the struggle to survive my own pride
Haunted by the deamons of my past life
Who am I and why do I are questions that keep running through my mind
But underneath this shallow skin is a bfrand new me comin' out comin' out from within.
So long, farewell to my old self
Goodbye to the lie that I can't be someone else
Cause who I was ain't who I am
I know that I've been born again.
Those stains of my history are gone, gone, gone...So Long.
Apathy, haunting me like some contagious disease.
Hypocrisy, hiding in the shadow of the former me.
Doin' what comes naturally I'm not who I want to be
I'm ready to be Free!!!
I know that she was talking about her spiritual journey but for me it is all three...spiritual, emotional, physical.
I am finding myself free in some ways but need to be free from this shell I have created...this body that served to isolate me from the fears and anxieties that drove my life for so long...but now it is just a prison.
So, I started this latest phase in my journey by deciding to apply for the Biggest Loser season 13. I did not receive a call back but honestly never had thought of that possibility. What did happen though was I met some INCREDIBLE people who changed the direction of my life path. I am on my way.
I invite you to join me. I will blog daily about my adventures, I will share ideas, scriptures, motivational hints, recipes...I will share my successes and my challenges...I invite you to begin a new phase to your life journey if you feel the need to.
I know that I can do ALL things through Christ who give me strength (Philippians 4:13). He is the center of my life and the center of my journey. I am seeking to lose weight in order to gain a new life through Him.
Blessings to you all!
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